The Journey to Integration as a Full Time Working Mom

How I am embracing motherhood, my marriage & my career, all without losing myself.

For almost 10 years, I thrived in the corporate world, priding myself on my ability to stay organized and juggle various responsibilities. When I became a mom three years ago, I approached it with the same mindset: a structured, organized approach to balancing work, home life, my marriage, and eventually, my children. How hard could it really be to be a full time working mom?

1 Child, No Problem. But 2? Send Help.

When my first child arrived, I found myself pleasantly surprised. With the unwavering support of my equal partner, I remained on top of my career, kept our home running smoothly, and nurtured my marriage. I still made time for the things I loved—skiing, yoga, time in the mountains—and maintained my friendships. Life felt balanced, almost effortless. I couldn’t quite understand why so many people described parenthood as such a chaotic adjustment. At that point, I truly believed I’d figured out the secret to thriving as a working mom.

Then, a couple years later, when my second child was born, my world turned upside down. The balance I had so carefully maintained seemed to dissolve overnight. Suddenly, even with an equal partner by my side, every waking moment was accounted for—each of us on “man-on-man defense.” Those early days with two little ones were an entirely different challenge. Time became an elusive luxury, priorities constantly collided, and exhaustion often left my partner and me stretched thin. For the first time, I truly felt the weight of motherhood pressing into every corner of my life.

This was when I faced some of my greatest personal challenges. My mental health wavered as I struggled to meet the demands of a busy household and a thriving career. My physical health took a backseat amid the sleepless nights and endless to-do lists. Even my marriage, which had always been a source of strength, felt the strain as we adjusted to this new reality together.

Integration Instead of Balance

Through this journey, I came to an important realization: balance wasn’t the right word for what working moms need. The notion of achieving perfect equilibrium between competing roles felt unattainable—and it was. Instead, I found strength in a different idea: integration. It wasn’t about perfectly dividing my time and energy but weaving together all aspects of my life in a way that honored my values and my authentic self. This shift in perspective allowed me to embrace the challenges and joys of motherhood, marriage, and career without losing sight of who I am at my core.

Reframing Your Peace as a Full Time Working Mom

My hope is that every mother—whether working outside the home, dedicating herself to the work within it, or both—can embrace this new definition of balance. It’s not about striving for perfection or dividing your time equally among roles; it’s about integrating the facets of your life in a way that reflects your values, passions, and unique journey. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and focusing on what truly matters, we can all find fulfillment and authenticity in the beautifully imperfect chaos of motherhood. Together, as a community, we can redefine what it means to thrive and support each other along the way.